My home-sickness for Chile has gotten worse.
I’ve never had such a strong connection with a place before. I’ve moved around a lot, loved many cities and communities. Home is where I hang my hat. But really fitting in? That’s been few and far between.
About a decade ago, I attempted a move to southern California to try to “connect” with my birthplace. That did not go well at all. But if I hadn’t tried, I wouldn’t have experienced that “absence of connection”. That was important.
A totally different story with Chile, my mother’s country, el país de mis parientes. I didn’t need to “try to find a connection”, it came naturally. Even more surprising, never having been much of a family type person, was the realization on how well I connected with my family there.
“Chilean me” finally found a place where she fits in!
And then I up and leave. *facepalm* What the hell was I thinking?!?
I’m gonna go cry in my pillow now.